CHAPTER ONE

Sierra Clark

The Beginning

Four years ago. August sixth.

That was the day my world was turned upside down.

My name is Sierra Clark. I never expected what would happen that day. I was only eleven at the time, and our family was going on a normal vacation. Summer was at its peak, and we were going on our annual cruise ship trip to escape from the bustling streets of Manhattan.

The day of the trip, I woke up early. The sun streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows of my bedroom, which displayed a breathtaking view of Central Park. I ran to get ready as fast as I could, quickly getting dressed and rushing out into the hall. I passed our porter, who was carrying our bags out of the door, and dashed into my parents’ bedroom.

“Mom! Dad!” I yelled, jumping onto their huge bed.

My dad rolled over, groaning, and looked up into my excited face. He sighed, smiling a little bit, and said, “Okay, Sierra, I’m coming.” He got out of bed and yawned.

“Mom.” I looked down at Mom with my eyebrows raised. She opened her eyes, looking very tired. “Finally! Come on, let’s go!” I shouted.

“Did you really have to yell, sweetie?” she asked, pushing a strand of beautiful long, blond hair behind her ear. “Go get your sister.”

I rushed out of the room, running across the hallway and into my twin sister’s bedroom. She was already awake. The curtains were drawn back, letting in the early morning sunshine. My identical twin sister, Casey, was sitting on the edge of her bed, brushing her long red hair.

“Casey!” I exclaimed. She turned around to see me as I leapt onto her bed, her vibrant green eyes lit up with anticipation. “Are you excited?” I asked her.

“Are you kidding?” Casey asked, laughing. “It just gets more fun every year.”

I nodded, saying, “I hope there’s that indoor skydiving thing we had on last year’s ship.”

“Yeah, we should ask Mom or Dad about that,” Casey replied.

A voice came from the hallway, saying, “Fifteen minutes, girls!”

I glanced over at Casey, and she said, “We’d better get dressed.” I leapt off my sister’s bed and rushed toward the door to get ready.

I sprinted into my room, throwing open my huge walk-in closet doors and looking for something to wear. I grabbed a bright blue T-shirt that read I Love the Ocean! and a pair of orange shorts, and quickly put them on. I grabbed my phone off my bed and slipped it into my pocket, walking out the door of my room.

I stepped out into the hallway, followed by my sister, and rushed down the transparent stairs to the main area of our apartment, which contained our kitchen, dining room, and living room. We were on the twenty-third floor of Roseman Towers, a luxury high-rise on the edge of Central Park. The view was pretty cool, and we got to see it every single day. Our family was kind of rich, I guess; my dad was a successful lawyer, and my mom was the CEO of her own company. Sometimes people assumed that because we were rich, we were uptight and snobby, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Our family was really close, and I didn’t think we were snobby at all.

Casey and I ran into the kitchen, and my sister opened the fridge to get something to eat. Our dogs, Cookie and Coco, ran up to me, their tails wagging.

I knelt down and lifted Coco, a cocker spaniel, into my lap as I sat down on a cushioned white chair. He licked my face enthusiastically, and I laughed, tickled. Behind me, Cookie, our poodle, bounced around Casey’s feet, barking at her to play. Casey shut the fridge and gladly obliged.

As we played with the dogs, our parents walked down the glass stairs behind us. My dad straightened his tie and called to us, “Come on, kids. Time to go.”

We kissed Cookie and Coco goodbye and headed for the door. “Bye Cookie! Bye Coco! We’ll miss you,” I called as we walked away.

“Don’t forget to call us!” Casey joked, waving back at the two dogs, who pursued us all the way to the door, jumping up with excitement.

“Don’t worry, girls,” my dad assured us, smiling. “Jasmine’s promised to send us pictures of Coco and Cookie every day while we’re gone. She always takes good care of them.”

We stepped out into the hall of our apartment building. Jimmy, our porter, stood outside. As I passed him, we did our secret handshake. He smiled and high-fived me.

We entered the elevator along with Jimmy and rode it down to the ground level. I rushed out as soon as the doors slid open and dashed through the sleek, modern lobby, pushing open the front doors of the building before Jimmy could get there.

I rushed out into the street, where a black limo was waiting, our luggage already packed. With my sister right behind me, I jumped into the car. Jimmy waved goodbye to us, and we waved back. Mom and Dad got into the limo, and the vehicle drove off.

In less than fifteen minutes we had arrived at Hudson Yards. Ships, both big and small, sat in the water around the piers.

We got out of the car and a porter met us to carry our bags ahead to the ship. We walked toward a massive cruise ship docked nearby and got to go through the VIP access line, skipping a long wait on the pier.

I stood on my toes to get a better look at the cruise ship that we were on our way to boarding. It was huge, with sleek white sides and countless windows. I spotted a zip line on the top deck of the ship, which I pointed out to Casey with excitement. Our vacation was going to be awesome.

Even though we went on cruise ship vacations every year, it was always new and exciting. We were usually on the newest ships, so whenever some new feature came out, we were among the first to try it out. We got the best food aboard the ship, got to do awesome stuff like going on waterslides, swimming, seeing movies in the IMAX theater, being at live concerts on the ship, going to the spa (Mom and Dad liked that more than Casey and I did), and lots more. We always looked forward to our cruise ship vacation every year.

Casey and I talked all the way through security, remembering previous years’ trips and speculating about what would happen this time.

At last, we walked along the ramp with dozens of other passengers to board the ship. We stepped inside the central atrium, gazing around in wonder.

Blue light washed over me as we walked inside. A massive turquoise disco ball hung from the ceiling, and a band was playing upbeat pop tunes on a platform in the center. Couches and chairs were placed around the atrium area, and a bar circled the central stage.

“Welcome aboard The Seacrest,” a voice greeted us from all around as we entered. “Get ready to enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime adventure.”

I grabbed Casey’s hand and we ran into the ship, looking around. We rushed toward the elevator bank as Mom and Dad tried to catch up with us.

“Slow down, girls!” Mom called to us over the noise of the band and the crowd of boarding passengers.

“We’re exploring the ship!” I replied.

Casey added, “Don’t worry, we won’t get into trouble.”

“You can go, as long as you come back to the room once you’re done. Cabin 8305, okay? And don’t take too long,” Dad called as the elevator doors closed.

Casey pressed a button on the panel and the elevator rose up, taking us to Deck Four. We rushed out the moment the doors opened, and after a few looks around, Casey said, “Oh, these are just other people’s cabins.”

“Boring,” I groaned, dragging Casey back to the elevator. “Let’s try Deck Five.”

We rushed out onto Deck Five, into a large space ringed with restaurants. A fountain stood in the center of the floor.

“That looks cool,” Casey commented, pointing to a sushi bar as we ran past it. “Want to eat there tomorrow?”

“Sure!” I replied, looking into a small art gallery for a brief moment. We ran past restaurants, a piano bar, a ballroom, a kids’ club, and a lounge area. Having explored all of Deck Five, we dashed back to the nearest staircase and ran up to the next deck.

An hour later, we’d explored most of the ship. Casey and I stood on the balcony of Deck Eleven, the second highest level on the boat.

“When are we going to depart?” I asked.

“Soon, hopefully,” Casey replied, gazing out at the pier below. “It’s been a while.”

“Good,” I said. “I can’t wait any longer.”

Several minutes later, we joined the debarking party happening on Deck Ten, and soon after, the cruise ship departed from the pier.

Casey and I ran back through the ship, on our way to our family’s cabin. We passed several kids on our way, some accompanied by their parents and extended relatives.

“I wonder if they’re nice,” Casey whispered to me.

“We should meet them!” I told her. “If we became friends with all the kids on this entire ship, we’d have, like, a billion friends…”

“There aren’t a billion kids on this ship, Sierra,” Casey laughed, rolling her eyes.

“I know,” I retorted, sounding rather defensive. “Mom and Dad are probably wondering why we aren’t back yet.”

“Yeah, because we’ve been gone for, like, a billion hours,” Casey teased.

“Stop it,” I objected. “That’s not funny.”

“Then why are you smiling?” Casey asked. I sighed, looking away, and she put her arm around me. “Come on. Let’s get back to Mom and Dad.”

We met back up with our parents in our suite on the ship and decided on what to do first. Casey and I argued over whether to go to the seafood restaurant for lunch or the gourmet café, and Dad settled the fight, saying, “Girls, we have two weeks on this cruise ship. That’s plenty of time to go to all the restaurants. Let’s just go to the barbecue place on Deck Nine, okay?”

That night, after a day full of fun aboard The Seacrest, Casey and I decided to see the view from up high. We headed toward the elevator and rode it to Deck Twelve.

On the way there, I asked, “You excited to see the view from the top, Casey?”

“Yeah, I bet it’s awesome,” she replied. “Like always.”

Just as I started to reply, the elevator doors slid open. We walked out and through a pair of revolving doors onto the balcony, and ran up to the railing, the cool, salty wind whipping around us.

“Woah!” I exclaimed. The view, as predicted, was amazing.

The ocean spread out all around us, a great expanse of rolling waves. It was almost impossible to see anything beyond the white breakers foaming at the hull of the ship. Our boat was the only light other than the stars and moon for miles in every direction, sheer blackness stretching on in a gaping expanse before us.

Casey and I leaned over the railing. “This is so cool!” my sister shouted over the wind.

I nodded, staring out at the pitch-black waters with a smile. So far, this vacation was getting off to a pretty good start. I was looking forward to whatever came next in our adventure.

We were almost the only ones on the balcony, other than a few people sleeping in chairs a distance away. It was peaceful, with the upbeat music in the background drowned out by the sound of waves and nothing but the great expanse of dark ocean in front of us. The balcony was lit by a few warm-colored lights at intervals along the edge.

I looked over at Casey, a thrilling idea sparking in my mind. I grabbed onto the railing, jumping up to sit on it. “Come on!” I called to her. “I dare you.” Casey shook her head, smiling, and followed me up onto the railing.

I laughed, feeling the wind rushing around me, my hair flying in the breeze. I took a deep breath in. The air was salty, like the churning dark ocean beneath us.

Casey and I both sat on the railing and stared out at the black expanse. I felt the ship move, tilting slightly in the water, and I gripped the railing to balance myself. The view was beautiful, even if it was little more than a deep void speckled with stars. Everything was peaceful, my sister and I taking in the awe-inspiring sight of the darkness of the ocean. I knew this vacation was going to be the best one I had ever—

A scream erupted from the darkness, shattering the peace and quiet.

My heart dropped as my head snapped to the left, looking over at Casey.

My sister slipped off the balcony railing, her hands reaching to find a solid hold. The boat swayed as Casey’s scream split the dark, falling off the railing, the wind howling around her.

A scream tore through my throat, my fingers clutching the railing as my lifeline. Casey plummeted through the air, down toward the black water far below, her hands stretched out toward me, panic in her eyes.

Time stopped.

I heard my sister’s terrified scream along with my own. I reached out toward her, but too late. Terror and panic shot through my heart as I watched my own twin sister fall into the black void before my eyes.

My heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe. The only sound that reached me was Casey screaming. I leaned over as far as I could, my hands outstretched toward my sister.

Casey’s bloodcurdling scream was cut off. With a splash that tore my heart apart, she disappeared below the waves, swallowed up by the endless black.

That was the last I saw of my twin sister. My everything.

I heard myself screaming, the raw, terrible sound filling my ears. I couldn’t see Casey. She had vanished into the endless dark, waves crashing over her. I could imagine her plunging deep, deep down into the ocean, lost forever in the vast expanse of black. She didn’t surface.

Casey was gone.

She was dead.

The awful, unbearable truth hit me like a tidal wave, forcing me under and drowning me, never letting me breathe for a moment, crushing and suffocating. She was dead. My twin sister, the one I had loved and grown up with my whole life, was dead. Ripped away from my life by the merciless depths of the dark ocean.

I fell off the railing, landing in a crumpled, heaving heap on the balcony. Tears streamed down my face. I grabbed the railing and gripped it as tight as I could, my tears dripping down onto it.

I screamed my sister’s name over and over again, calling her to come back, trying to bring her back. I hardly noticed the people rushing over to me, the small group that slowly gathered around my limp, crying body. I felt a hand touching my shoulder, crew and passengers alike trying to calm me.

They didn’t know. They couldn’t understand what had happened. But I didn’t care. All I could think about was Casey.

I didn’t think about my parents, or where they were. I didn’t think about the people staring at me with concern. I didn’t think about the crew calling for help. I didn’t think about our vacation aboard the cruise ship. I didn’t think about the future with Casey dead.

The only thing I could think about, cry about, scream about, was my sister. I screamed her name, over and over and over. But it would do nothing to bring her back. She was gone.

“Casey! Casey! CASEY!”

• • •

“CASEY!”

I bolted upright, gasping for air. Sweat drenched my face. I clutched my bed sheets, the memory of the dream still fresh in my mind. It had been like I was experiencing my sister’s death all over again. I felt like I could still hear her scream.

My thoughts were interrupted by Mom’s voice calling from outside, “Sierra? Are you okay?” She walked inside my bedroom and stood at the doorway, staring at me with concern. “I heard…” She didn’t finish her sentence.

I was frozen. I couldn’t move. Casey’s scream echoed in my mind. I tried to speak, but all that came out was a pained groan.

“Oh, sweetie, you’re crying!” Mom exclaimed, exhaling as she stepped into the bedroom. “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”

I tried to hide the tears streaming down my cheeks and turned away. I didn’t know what to tell her. She looked really worried. I was afraid she was going to ask about it. That was the last thing I wanted—another reminder of the nightmare. The memory of my sister’s death.

“Honey. It’s okay.” Mom walked toward me and sat on the edge of my canopied bed.

“I’m… fine,” I croaked, still not meeting her eyes.

“Really?” she asked.

“Really,” I insisted.

“What was it about, Sierra?”

We sat in silence for a few moments. The early morning sun shone through the closed curtains of my floor-to-ceiling window.

“Crystal, honey! I need your help with the luggage!” I heard my dad call from the hallway.

“If you don’t want to tell me, I won’t force you,” Mom said softly, stroking my head. She stood up. “I need to go. I wonder what your father did now…”

I have to admit I almost laughed a little at that moment. But the painful memory was still fresh in my mind.

We heard a crash, and Dad yelping in surprise.

“That doesn’t sound good. I’d better go help.”

As Mom walked toward the door to leave, I managed one word.

“Casey.”

I closed my eyes. I hadn’t spoken her name in a long time.

She turned and sighed. “I know it’s hard. But we can’t hold on to her forever. We have to let go. It’s what… she would have wanted.”

I hesitated for one moment before speaking. “Mom?” I asked.

“Yes?”

“Where are we going?”

“I’ve already told you,” she answered. “It’s a surprise.” She walked out the door.

After a moment, I got up and walked into the hallway. Our porter was carrying luggage toward the stairs.

“Hey, Jimmy!” I called after him.

He turned around and saw me. “Morning, Sierra!”

“What are you doing?” I asked him, rubbing my eyes.

“Just packin’ up your bags for the trip!” he answered cheerfully. “You’re leaving today, remember?”

“Do you know where we’re going?”

“Sorry, but your parents didn’t tell me,” Jimmy answered. “I think it’s a surprise.”

I sighed, turning away. “Why does it have to be a surprise?” I muttered.

I walked back into my bedroom, and looked up at an old picture of Casey and me on top of my dresser. We had been little then, only about six. We were both smiling, looking happily at the camera, standing on the beach in front of the sunset. It had been different back then. Everything had been so much simpler. So much better. I had taken that happy life for granted. I would have given anything to get that life back.

I heard something behind me. “Sierra?” my dad’s voice called from the doorway. I turned around, looking away from the picture of Casey and me. Dad was standing in the doorway. “It’s almost time to go.”

I nodded and he paused for a moment, seeming to decide whether or not to say something, and then left.

I got dressed, putting on jeans and a navy hoodie over a gray T-shirt. I still wondered where we were going. We didn’t go on cruise ship vacations anymore, not after what had happened four years ago with Casey. I hadn’t gone to the beach since then. Just the sight of the ocean brought back the memory of that day. We didn’t really do big family vacations, either. It always felt incomplete without Casey. Like we were only a partial family. There was a gaping hole where Casey had been, one that could never be filled again.

I walked down the hallway and stopped at the doorway of Casey’s old bedroom. We hadn’t moved anything since the day she passed away.

I cracked the door of Casey’s room open just enough to see inside. Just looking at it brought back all the good memories from when Casey and I had just been sisters. Before the day that changed everything.

I walked downstairs and saw Mom and Dad talking in the living room. Jimmy was loading the last of our luggage out into the apartment hallway. “Hey Mom. Hey Dad.”

“Oh, Sierra! We were just talking about our vacation,” Dad answered.

“Yeah, we think you’ll really enjoy it!” Mom added.

“Okay.”

I started walking upstairs when Dad called, “We’re leaving in five minutes!”

“Okay, Dad,” I answered, walking into the hallway.

The door to Casey’s bedroom was still ajar. I looked over at a mirror inside and saw my face reflected in it. It reminded me of Casey; we had been identical twins, both with the same red hair, sparkling green eyes, and adventurous spirit. I never liked looking at myself—it always brought back memories I dreaded. So many things reminded me of Casey. It was almost unbearable.

I looked away and started toward my room. I passed by a broken vase. I smiled, thinking that must have been what Dad broke while helping Jimmy with the luggage.

I entered my room again, shutting the door. My heart felt like lead sinking in water. As I passed my dresser, I turned the picture of Casey and me facedown. I collapsed on my bed.

I took a shaky breath as a tear rolled down my face. No matter how hard I tried to turn my thoughts from Casey, my mind kept returning to her. Why did it have to happen to me? To our family? To Casey? She had been such a good sister. I regretted every time I had been mad with her, every time we had fought over little things, every time I hadn’t treasured her company. I never could have guessed how fleeting it would be.

I buried my face in my pillow and let the tears come.

After a few minutes, Mom called to me from outside, “Sierra! We have to go now! Come on.”

I took a deep breath to steady myself and sat upright, wiping the tears from my face. I grabbed my phone off my dresser and slipped it into my pocket.

Mom and I met Dad and Jimmy at the elevator and took it to the lobby. As we walked outside, I looked back one last time at our high-rise.

A black car was waiting outside. Jimmy packed our bags into the trunk, and waved goodbye as we got in the car. Our chauffeur drove off as soon as the three of us were inside. I barely looked out the window, too preoccupied to take in the sights.

“We’re here,” Mom whispered to me as the car slowed to a stop.

I grabbed the car door and pushed it open, stepping out into the heat of summer. As my parents exited the car behind me, I looked around.

We were at the pier. Ships waited in the harbor, lines of people around some. And a sickening, heart-wrenching sensation began to tear me apart as I realized where we were going.

After four years, we were going on a summer vacation as a family. And my worst nightmare was coming true.

We were going on a cruise ship.